Ok @Nieve, thanks for the book as it really assists. For your situation I am going to modify the standard approach as your “goals” are more detailed then normal, (requiring personal P&L) and that is not a issue.
To start with, lets name the business “Marriage” but it could be “(surname) Enterprises”.
Instead of categories and sub-categories Manager uses “Tracking Codes” - read this Use divisions for the Profit and Loss Statement | Manager.
This way you can just use just one account, say Insurance, and allocate a tracking code to it rather then having sub-accounts Insurance Truck, Insurance House etc. This doesn’t mean you can’t have more than one Insurance account if your design of the COA requires it.
The tracking codes could be as basic as Business & Personal or more in depth such as Business, Wife Personal, Husband Personal and Shared Personal. Or even going further, such as Business, Wife Tax Return, Wife Personal, Husband Tax Return, Husband Personal and Shared Personal.
Now I am going to assume that you don’t (for the sake of the marriage) want to track the number of your cocktails v’s the number of his beers therefore I am going to suggest the following tracking codes - Business, Wife Tax Return, Husband Tax Return and Household (everything that doesn’t relate to a tax return). This way the accountant gets their required data via the tracking code reports. For you to ponder upon.
Furthermore, it doesn’t matter what bank or credit card has been used as it just becomes a P&L account plus tracking code allocation for that transaction.
Once again, for the P&L COA design it can be as basic (Income less Expenses) or more detailed (Income less Direct Expenses less Variable Expenses less Overhead Expenses) as you like. The important thing here is to get the actually required (transaction) accounts set up now, the rearranging of their groupings can occur at any time.
For the BS COA you have various options:
Account is first and foremost a Management reporting system and becomes only a Taxation reporting system on the final day of the financial year.
The bank and credit cards can be displayed so as to give you (the manager) the best information. On the Summary tab they can be grouped under one heading or individually shown.
For Suppliers, their Accounts Payable can be grouped as one or divided and displayed as two, Business Accounts Payable and Personal Accounts Payable.
Here I will write about a (wee) contradiction from your good self:
In your first post you wrote “and see what is owing and when” and in your second post you wrote “I use cash accounting method”. With cash accounting you can’t see the "what is owing. Perhaps your Access Database exposed both but that is not traditional accounting.
I forcible recommend accrual accounting and if I ever become Master of the World, I would as my very first act - ban cash basis accounting.
Hopefully this is giving you some direction, as Manager won’t give you the same problems.
Don’t hesitate to ask further.
When you start doing bank downloads, using bank rules is your friend but there are some tricks which can be discussed later.
PS (as an aside) “was in high school, but I won’t say how long ago that was” + “I have a full time job for 25 years” - so mid forties. See, ac-counting can be fun.
I have a full time job for 25 years, and was sucked into doing my husbands Bookkeeping since 2005, whom has no financial capabilities what so ever. Finding receipts seems to be quite the challenge too. He’s terrible. 
